Too many men nowadays are being scammed by a "Russian woman".

About 20% of men entering the scene of Russian-Western dating get in contact with a scammer on some stage of their search. You may be lucky and avoid being scammed, but anybody can make a mistake. Often men discover that they have been corresponding with a scammer when they have already developed strong feelings towards the "woman". It is a heartbreaking experience.
Read further to reduce your chance of running into a scammer.

1) mention of someone dying to develop sympathy
2) how poor they have been and how expensive anything is
3) what they are paying to send letters
4) anytime they ask for money
5) when "chocolates" are more important than the dead father, etc.
6) they do not address your letter except for a few lines at the start
7) the body of what they say is too general
8) they purposefully do not get to the point in order to string out the number of letters

Real Russian girls would never complain about money, ever. They should be more interested in you than "their poor little story" or receiving gifts.

You MUST inform an agency if a woman asks for money.

Here is a usual situation: a man (M) finds in the internet a female (F), contacts her, they begin to correspond and in a short period of time they become "friends". After exchange of several letters M feels more and more sympathy and affection for F; her letters become necessary to him, he wants to communicate more and more often with her, they begin to plan their personal meeting... But all at once he is suddenly informed, that:

• her internet providers will disconnect her from the internet since she needs to pay them $50.00 ($150.00; $250.00; $384.43, etc.),
• and today in a bus (subway; store; market, etc.) a thief stole (she lost) her purse with all her money.
• or- her Mom (father; son; sister, etc.) needs a very expensive surgery and she has gone into debt $150.00 ($500.00; $800.00;
• $1226.94, etc.) for this surgery, which means she cannot afford internet now since the internet connection is very expensive (she must sell her computer to cover the debt, etc.).
• or- the computer which she uses for communication with M belongs to her girlfriend (or to the firm where F works, etc.). Her girlfriend has married a man from an another city, is going to sell her computer and to move to Murmansk or New York (or today F was fired from the firm).

...and so on. The result of all these misfortunes is one: the communication of M and F will become impossible in the immediate future if she doesn't find a certain sum urgently. She cried all the night and just doesn't know what to do; she can't imagine how she will live without his tender letters, blah, blah, blah...

The described situations can slightly vary, but the following moments are always presented:

• F is very beautiful, intelligent, feminine, friendly, understanding, fluent in English, young, tender, and can not find "her soulmate". At least, M likes F very much;
• F shows M that in her eyes he is very attractive; she never has met such an interesting, romantic and intelligent person. They have a lot of common; her thoughts and feelings are congenial to the M's ones in every trivia;
• the internet connection she uses does not belong to her, that is why she uses a mailbox in some free service like @hotmail.com;  
• F has some financial difficulties, but she is a pride person and never tells M about them. She just once unwittingly made a unintended mention of them, but if M insists her to tell him about her financial problems, she softly but aggressively stops this discussion - it is HER problems. If he doesn't pay attention to this subtle allusion about her problems, at some point she can repeat it (accidentally), but it is not really necessary. Already, M knows that F is living a low standard of life, modest salary ($20.00 or $30.00 per month), maybe a little child who F loves immensely... and she is sure that M knows that.
• The misfortune (impossibility of further communications which can be eliminated if M sends F some money) happens suddenly and surprisingly, like a bolt from the blue, just as M has become accustomed to her letters, when everything seems to be wonderful, when they begin to exchange of very intimate and tender plans and wishes... Money is needed all at once.
  

There is an interesting modification of this situation: M and F progressed to the point of preparations for the trip of M to F's city for their first personal meeting. M sends her money "for preparation of his visit" - renting of apartment, driver for his meeting at the airport, expenses in legal formalities for invitation, etc. A sum of $US 500.00 is typical.

And finally, do not believe in any stories about engagement protocol requiring expensive gifts - there is no such a thing as engagement in Russia! A ring is given to a bride only at the wedding - a plain wedding band, no diamonds.

NEW :: How to avoid being scammed

Fortunately, this isn't so difficult. The easiest way to avoid being scammed is to
simply never send a girl money, at least not until you've met her in person. At
the very least not until you've corresponded with her for several months, have
spoken often by phone and gotten to know each other very well. But it should
never really be necessary to send a girl money until you have met each other in
person at least once.

Better not to even bring up the subject of money yourself. Once you open the
door by offering to pay for her correspondence expenses, you shouldn't be
surprised if the girl accepts your offer. And if she inflates the cost of her
expenses she may not be a scammer at all, but is only taking advantage of an
opportunity that you presented her with. Let's not forget that life is hard and
money scarce for women in the FSU.

Don't stress or brag about your wealth in your letters. Especially if you're an older
gentleman and are writing to mainly younger girls, you're only trolling for
scammers by doing this. Better to write about your interests, your hobbies, and
your dreams for the future. Don't try to tempt girls by describing your summer
home, your luxury cars and expensive toys. Do you really want a girl to be
attracted to you for your wealth? If so, you're only asking for trouble ;-)

Demonstrate in your first and subsequent letters that you're serious, that you
understand what's involved in marrying a foreign bride. Let her know up front that
you plan to visit her in her city in the very near future if there is mutual interest.
This will frighten off many potential scammers. Use proper punctuation and good
grammar, type in complete sentences and check your spelling. Paying attention to
detail in your own letters will make you a less vulnerable target, and at the same
time sharpen your awareness and make you more appealing to the vast majority
of honest ladies out there!

It is a myth perpetuated by marriage agencies that Russian women prefer to
marry older men. The fact is that Russian women are individuals, and just like
girls in any other country some will prefer older men, but most would prefer to
marry someone closer to her own age. If you are an older gentleman and are
corresponding with younger girls, your chances of being scammed increase
substantially. And if the girl looks like a model, your chances of being scammed
are greater still. It's really just common sense.

If a girl asks you to help pay for her correspondence expenses, you can easily and
safely test her sincerity by offering to pay for mail forwarding yourself. This would
not involve sending any money to her personally. If she's an honest girl who's
sincerely interested in you, she will accept this offer gladly. If not, she will
disappear and you'll not have wasted either your time or money.

When you're serious about a girl and plan on meeting her, you'll certainly want to
call her by phone. Scammers don't usually like this, and you'll frighten "most" of
them away by calling several times. If you need to use the services of a
translator, hire a third party to do it. She may not want to give you her phone
number at once, but if she refuses to give it to you after a reasonable length of
correspondence, you should be suspicious. Obviously if you're never able to talk
to her by phone at all, something is very wrong.

Educate yourself. You're at the right place to do that ;-) Learn what's really
involved in bringing a foreign bride to your country. Everyone should do this
before begin a serious correspondence. Familiarize yourself with the warning
signs, and visit the forum to learn from others, and share your ideas and
suspicions. Browse the names and addresses of known scammers listed on this
site, and view the photos often used by scammers.

Request her post address (clarify it with her) and then send her a post letter with
some pictures. Send several, and if she claims never to receive any of them,
you'll know something's wrong.

Summary

1.Don't send money! This is the golden rule of avoiding scams - follow it and
you're safe!
2.Don't make yourself a target for scammers by stressing your wealth or
showing that you don't understand what's involved in marrying a foreign
bride
3.Do familiarize yourself with the warning signs
4.Do let her know that you plan to visit her soon, and understand what's
involved in marrying a foreign bride.

Some warning signs

These are only some indications that "may" mean you are being set-up for a
scam. Taken by themselves they could be quite innocent, but they are some
things you should watch out for:

The photos look too-good-to-be-true. This is always the first giveaway.
Scammers rarely use photos of "plain" looking girls. Quite often they use
photos of foreign models or even actresses or pop stars! We've seen this
many times, so we've included a photo album of favorite beauties that are
often used by scammers.

This doesn't mean that you should suspect every girl who has beautiful
photos! But if the photo appears to have been scanned from a magazine, or
she has a whole series of "model" shots which are just too perfect, it's wise
to be suspicious. Maybe she really is a model, it's not unheard of; but when
combined with other warning signs, this one is usually a dead giveaway.

Overly tender letters at the very beginning of your correspondence. For
example if she calls you "My Darling", or signs her first letters to you "with
love". Many men do this too, by the way. It may mean nothing at all, but it
certainly could be a prelude to predation.
Vague letters with no or few questions about you. She may write very loving
letters about how much she needs you, misses and loves you, yet doesn't
seem interested in you personally. A lady seriously considering marriage with
you will obviously have many questions!
Your questions are never or rarely answered. However this is one warning
sign that is sometimes misinterpreted. The lady may not know your
language very well, and she may need time to fully translate your letter and
her replies to your specific questions. So, depending on the lady's
understanding of English (or whatever language you're corresponding in), she
may need more time to respond directly to your questions.
Her letters may seems like "form" letters, and if she is a scammer, they are
form letters. They're usually doled out in order - reply 1, reply 2, etc. Usually
a new "model shot" taken "just for you" will be included. If she's working on
many men at once (and scammers usually are), you may even receive letters
addressed to someone else! Usually that's a good time to bail out ;-)

Her letters may become progressively sexual, and her photos more
seductive. This is a common theme throughout the varying scams.

She's extremely beautiful and you're old enough to be her father. Let's face
facts: young beautiful girls don't have to settle for a man so much older and
most won't want to. For many years this myth has been perpetuated by
marriage agencies: that Russian, Ukrainian and Eastern European girls prefer
much older men. Some do, sure, just like girls in every other country. But
your chances of being scammed only increase with the age difference. I don't
want to give the wrong impression about this, since my wife is 13 years
younger than I am ;-) I think that is a reasonable age difference for some
people. But we often see 60 year old men writing to 20 - 25 year old girls,
and that's just asking for trouble.
Hint's about how expensive Internet cafes are. They really are expensive, by
the way. But most Russian, Ukrainian and FSU ladies don't use Internet
cafe's for their correspondence. The majority of girls will have Internet
access at work, or through a friend. They may pay someone for this service,
but if they claim it's costing them $50 - $100 per month, you need to be
suspicious. My wife was fortunate enough to have a PC and Internet access
at her home, and she made some extra money by helping her girlfriends
place their profiles on dating sites, translating letters for them, etc. This is
how we met, by the way ;-) It's a very common thing for women to help each
other this way, and most girls will be able to find such an opportunity. And
besides Internet cafes, there are business centers in almost every city where
e-mail can be sent and received very inexpensively.
A tragedy occurred and money is urgently needed. This is the "springing of
the trap" and usually will happen after she's worked on you for awhile. The
sob-story could be almost anything - one of her parents are ill, or her child,
and they could die unless an expensive operation is performed. Her money
was lost or stolen, the rent is due and she could be evicted and wind up on
the streets. She has a mean nasty boss that will fire her if she doesn't have
sex with him, and she's a virgin saving herself for you, etc., etc. There are
endless variations on this theme. Don't fall for it! Not unless you've met the
girl and her family in person or otherwise know the story to be true. But if
that was the case, you probably wouldn't be here reading this, would you?
;-)
She wants to visit you in the USA, and needs money for the visa/tickets. It's
a scam, no questions. Grab your wallet and run ;-) While it is possible for a
women to obtain a tourist visa to visit the USA, it's very difficult, especially
for a young lady. A certain income level must be met and there are other
restrictions. While it's less trouble for a FSU lady to visit other countries
besides the USA, this still remains one of the most common scams, so watch
out!

Important! Some scammers are becoming quite sophisticated, and they'll
understand these warning signs and try to avoid giving them. However these
scammers will not waste their time with you, once they understand that you're
knowledgeable about the process of marrying a foreign bride. They'll wait for
easier prey, especially for those men who seem to be new at this. For example if
you write to girls offering to "bring them to your country" for a visit, your likely to
be a target. The more clever scammers will never ask you for money themselves,
they'll wait until you offer all by yourself. But still the "hints" about money will be
there. They'll understand they need to ask you questions and reply to yours, and
they will. But they won't keep up this game forever - don't offer to send them
money, and all scammers will disappear eventually.

Definition of a scam

This is somewhat subjective. But for the purpose of this site, we'll define it as
obtaining money by means of deception. Specifically we are concerned about
those women who make this their practice, who are in the business of scamming
men.

We will also discuss scammers masquerading as marriage agencies/translation
services. Please see our topic: Translation (agency) Frauds.

There are many other types of deception that won't qualify a woman to be
published as a scammer on this site. Unfortunately people lie to each other,
women are just as often the victim of this as men. For example you if you find
out that a woman you're writing to has a boyfriend she didn't tell you about in
her own country, or is corresponding secretly with someone else - this won't land
her on these pages. But this type of information you can share in our forum.

What to do if you've been the victim of a scam

First of all, you've come to the right place. You've got a right to be angry, and
here is the place where you can channel that anger constructively, by exposing
the scammer and helping other men avoid the same fate. Legal retribution is
probably not going to happen - the girl is a far away and this will not be a priority
for the authorities in her country. But by exposing her scams we can make it
much more difficult for her to operate and possibly cause her some
embarrassment.

By the way, we always refer to "her" on this site when discussing scammers, but
it is just as likely that you are actually dealing with a "him". Not a nice thought,
is it? It could very well be an Igor or a Sergei that you've been corresponding
with, and the girl picking up the money at the Western Union office is his sister
or girlfriend.

If you've already sent money - it's gone. Time to cut your losses, learn from the
experience and move on. Don't let it spoil your opinion of all all Russian and FSU
girls, or ruin your hopes of finding a foreign bride. Now, after visiting this site and
exploring these topics you'll be much better prepared, and you won't fall victim
again. You'll know a scammer long before she can spring her trap, and you'll be
able to avoid most of them in the first place.

Here's what you should do if you've been scammed:

Report the scammer to us. See our "Report A Scammer" page for details.
Contact the agency or dating site where you met her. Please read or topic
"Reporting a Scammer to her Agency"
Report the scam to each of her e-mail service providers. You'll need to send
proof, including the full headers of the e-mail messages you received where
her scam becomes clear. Probably she's using "throw away" e-mail addresses
anyway, but it doesn't hurt to make these complaints. Send your complaint
to: "abuse@her_provider.ext" (i.e. abuse@mail.ru). "Abuse" is the usual
mailbox setup for these complaints, however you can CC a copy to
postmaster@her_provider.ext also.
Reporting this sort of scam to big bureaucracies like the FBI is, frankly
speaking, not very productive - they've got bigger fish to fry. But it doesn't
hurt and might at least make you feel better to file a complaint with them
;-)
By the same token, you may report her to both your country's embassy in her
country, and her country's embassy in yours. Here's a searchable directory of
embassies around the world.
Create your own web page exposing her scam, and submit it to all the
search engines. You can use one of the many free home page communities,
or the web space provided to you by your ISP for this. AntiScam.org already
does this for you, but it doesn't hurt to have more exposure ;-) This is
arguably the most effective measure you can take. Most men will likely run a
search engine check on the girl they're writing to. I know from observing our
own server logs that it happens all the time. (hint: put her name and city in
the title of the web page)

What to do if you suspect the girl you're writing to may be a scammer

Obviously, don't send her any money ;-)
Check the scammer database for her name and browse for her photo. If you
don't find her there, visit our forum and share your suspicions about her.
You'll get some advice and perhaps find someone else who's corresponded
with her.
It is possible for you to hire someone to run a background check on her, but
most of the time I think it's unnecessary - at least to determine if she
scammer or not. This would make more sense if you have other doubts about
her. If she's not trying to scam you, and you meet her in person after a few
months, you'll be able to check her out for yourself in a much less intrusive
fashion.
Many services which deliver flowers or gifts will also (optionally) take a
photograph of the girl for you and even ask to see her passport. Again,
arrange this through a third party service, rather than through the same
agency which provided you with the girl's contact information ;-)
If you decide after all that she "is" a scammer, it may be time to turn the
tables on her let her play out her scam only long enough to gather more
proof against her (without sending her money, of course). You may not want
to waste your own time doing that, but probably someone else will be happy
begin corresponding with her for that purpose. "Scammer hunting" becomes a
hobby for many guys who have once been a victim, you'll meet them on the
forum. Usually better to leave this (scammer hunting) to others, after all
your main objective is to find a good girl and that's where you should be
spending your time and energy!
If after consulting us and others on our forum, you decide she's not a
scammer at all, then you'll want to continue your relationship.

Reporting a scammer to her agency

The thing to remember here is "be polite"; give enough details so that the agency
knows exactly who and what you're telling them about, and include proof of the
scam. Operate under the assumption that the agency is honest and concerned
about scammers. Give them a chance to do something about it before you
become angry with them. Don't ever threaten to post negative comments about
them "unless they delete the girl's profile at once", or something like that.
Nobody likes to be threatened, and an honest agency will likely be more
suspicious of the "sender" of this report than they are of the one being accused.
Each agency may have their own policy, but in general, here's what information
you should send them:

Profile number or ID of the girl on their site
The name she used in the profile on their site
A detailed description of her scam
The results of her scam (i.e. you sent her X amount of money, she
disappeared)
Some proof of the scam. (i.e letters where she asks you for money,
describes the tragedy in her life, etc.) If you're able, most agencies will
appreciate receiving the full email "headers" of the scam letters.
If she is already listed as a scammer on AntiScam.org, send the agency a
link to her details page.
Your name and contact information. If you don't want your name and details
made public, you should request that specifically.

You cannot reasonably expect an agency to delete a woman from their site
without some form of proof that she is indeed a scammer. An unsupported
accusation is simply not enough, after all the agency has an obligation to the
lady as well. As dating site owners, we occasionally receive "demands" to remove
someone's profile from our site without any proof offered whatsoever. And when
more information and some proof is requested by us, oftentimes it is not
forthcoming. It appears that in some of these cases it was only a "jilted"
boyfriend or else a jealous one, not wanting his new girlfriend to appear on any
dating site ;-)

Translation (agency) Fraud

This one is very common. There are plenty of dishonest agencies - most based in
the FSU, but some originating in the USA or Europe - who's only purpose is
defrauding unsuspecting men. They will feature lots of beautiful girls on their web
site, often offering the "first contact for free". Their goal, obviously, is to get you
"hooked" on some beautiful young thing. Usually after a few letters exchanged
with the beautiful girl who is already falling in love with you, you will receive a
note at the bottom of the e-mail from the "manager" of the agency. You will be
informed that the girl you're corresponding has made her "choice", that she
wishes to correspond only with you, however ... she needs to have her letters
translated, etc., and it's very expensive for her and you could help her a lot by
sending $100 by Western Union, etc., etc. There are a lot of variations on this
scheme. Suffice it to say that the girl you think you're corresponding with doesn't
really exist. The photos could have come from anywhere (check our photo model
section), and you're simply being scammed. A lot of guys fall for this one, since it
always seems more reasonable when an "agency" is asking you for money.

Feel free to warn other men if you have negative experience. Post your message to eGroups: mailgirls@egroups.com

Read about other subscribers' experience

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